Reflections on a couch-surfing experience.
Upon first meeting my Parisian
friend at Montmartre, his interest in my project and general candidness
immediately struck me. While I had hoped that we would initially meet in a bar
or coffee shop to break the ice, he invited me to his apartment. It was a
fabulous place located at the top of the Montmartre steps overlooking the
entire city. From his window, Paris shone bathed in a rare winter afternoon
sun. Sam sat me at a table buried in books on subjects ranging from the origins
of Hip Life in Ghana to political modes of expressions in African popular
culture. At this point, my conviction that Sam and I would get along was
confirmed. Hours flew by as we discussed our perceptions of the Coupe Decale
movement and exchanged views on the coded forms of expressions embedded in
the music. Sam, like many scholars who had gotten too close to this movement,
had a very ambivalent view. Torn between his general love for African music and
the dubious, rather criminal origins of Coupe Decale – I had the impression
that his research had left him with a rather bitter taste in his mouth.
Nonetheless, he still proved to be an excellent resource for general fieldwork
advice, contacts and a myriad of lessons learned.
During the closing phases of our
discussion, we realized that we were both headed to Amsterdam soon. Moreover it
happened that Sam was also interested in watching a show called “Coupe Decale”
that was soon going to stop in Liege, Belgium. Sam had actually forged a close
relationship with James Carles (the show’s director and famous dancer/choreographer
in Toulouse), who had given Sam some guidance during his own research. Quickly,
it was decided that we’d go to Belgium together to watch the show. Since my
original base in Belgium was at my cousin’s who lived in Antwerp, hundreds of
kilometers away from Liege, catching a midnight train back to Antwerp after the
show did not seem like a feasible option. After some rather rocky logistical
issues, Sam arranged for us to stay with a Couchsurfing host who had a place
in Liege.
I arrived in Liege a couple of
hours before Sam as I had scheduled an interview with the show’s director.
After some frustrating moments spent getting lost and hopping from bus to bus,
I finally found James’ hotel. A few moments after I was announced, James came
down and led me to the hotel bar. The interview went fast and was fairly
unfocused. I kept fumbling my papers and struggled to keep my questions
open-ended. Nonetheless James, perhaps sensing my lack of experience, was very
patient and provided me with lengthy and very detailed responses – sometimes
even answering questions that I had not explicitly formulated.
Our meeting was cut short when my
friend Sam called to announce that he had just arrived in Liege and that we
were invited for an 8 pm dinner at our Couchsurfing host’s. I left James’ hotel
for the address Sam provided me and found myself in an older neighbourhood of
Liege. During our initial communication, Sam had warned me that we would be
staying in a studio apartment where our host had been generous enough to offer
us a mattress on the floor. I was however surprised to find that we were
actually being lodged in a 3 floor townhouse where we actually had a separate
(but shared) room.
Dinner with our host went well.
The conversation revolved mostly around our shared experiences of various
cultures and our individual trajectories. She was fascinated with our story and
curious to find out how Sam and I went from complete strangers to travel mates in
such a short time. We did our best
to tell her about our common interest in Coupe Decale, our relationship with
James Carles and our interest in the following day’s show. She kept an open
mind and a lot of patience as Sam and I went back and forth arguing as to what
we thought were the true ideologies behind the movement. Before bidding her
goodnight, we invited her to see the show with us the following day so she
could see for herself what the fuss was all about. Sam and I finished the night
in a Congolese bar bordering the Meuse, sharing research findings and opinions
while sipping on cheap Belgian beer.
Until this experience, I had
always considered Couchsurfing a
“dangerous practice”. It was hard for me to conceive that one could open
his/her doors to complete strangers exposing themselves to all sorts of
potential catastrophes. However, this experience proved to me that this
perception could not be further from the truth. People like Sam and our host, made the experience thoroughly enjoyable. I learned about another
culture, exchanged ideas and shared a genuine experience with other fellow
human beings. Life should not be lived fearing interactions with our
neighbours, it should be lived to embrace differences and accept others for
what they are. I am, of course, not arguing for recklessness or imprudence
since I am well aware that not everyone out there has the noblest of
intentions. However, if we decide to somewhat lower our guard we might discover
how sublime other individuals can be, and remind ourselves of our own ability for
true and disinterested kindness.
